I was raised with the idea that in life you can have only one job, one career. And yes at the time… a long time ago LOL, it was pretty much like this. I am so happy times changed! I was finishing high school and had no idea about what I should do next. Everything seemed dull to me. Nothing was appealing. My dreams had already been shattered years prior to that. I was already unsatisfied, without even being really conscious of that yet.
Trying to fit in other people shoes is not the sane thing to do
I ended up going to an executive secretary school… the thing that I hated the most was to work in an office! It’s amazing how we can sabotage ourselves when we are off the track of our alignment! I realize even more now how those studies did not fit my nature and my being. And what did I do after school…? Office work… Granted: all that I learned became useful years later when I went in business for myself. But still… what amount of joy, bliss and happiness did I miss trying to fit in other people shoes rather than creating my path? No regret here however. All this brought me to where I am today, even writing this blog!
I always aimed at being an artist. Where I could feel the best was among paper, paint and crayons. Even the smell of those was making me feel high. And I had found the perfect path: going to the Beaux-Arts (famous school of Fine Arts) — I was in France at the time — and just be an artist. Simple enough. Well, in my family’s mind this was a different story. “Artists don’t make money” was the main reason why I should not do such a thing.
Pretty destructive for my future. But something even more destructive was the notion that you can really have only 1 passion in life. I don’t know how this kind of thought crawls on you until you become one with it, but it does, and it affected me numerous times with the result of limiting myself — although I did not want to consciously — to 1 thing instead of arranging my life being able to enjoy several activities — whether they were professional or hobbies.
Having to choose may leave you unsatisfied.
Because of my education, I thought that you could only do ONE thing well, and that this was important. And each time I was attracted to a different career path, or a great side activity, I couldn’t pursue it because my own thoughts were in the way and they were: “you need to choose” or “you cannot do several things at the same time“.
Many times I was excited by several things I started doing that were bringing me a lot of fulfillment, but I was totally unable to continue them, because on a subconscious level, my limiting beliefs were telling me that to do that, I needed to abandon my other activities, that I couldn’t do both, etc. Each time I ended up choosing, and it left me empty and unsatisfied.
The truth will set you free… and happy!
The truth is that I can do several things, I can have several activities, passions, careers, and so CAN YOU! We were born on this planet to experience life and expand. Some people enjoy a “deep” expansion, going further and further into exploring one subject, one passion. Others will only thrive in a “wide” expansion, doing activity after activity, or several at the same time.
You see, when you feel happy and enthusiastic about something, and have some thoughts like “I would love to do that” or “I wish this could be my job” or just realizing that this would be perfect for you, your life and going towards your dreams, the wrong thing to do is to shut it off, to tell yourself: well, I better control my emotions and not be happy about that and even forget about it because I am programmed to do one job and I should stick to it.
If you want to spin yourself down, become irritable with your husband and your kids, be more and more depressed, become chronically ill and have zits on the face, go ahead.
Otherwise, you are going to need to really look at what is happening with your emotions. How do you feel? Does it bring you joy? May be you don’t want to “jump” in an activity like this but you want to study more on the subject, and it’s okay. Then you’ll find out if you are really interested or not. But if you feel good about something and it lifts your spirit, it is a good thing, right?
You need to take care of yourself before you take care of others. This does not mean you only think about you and neglect others. Not at all. It means that if you bring yourself in a state where you are your best, you will be ten times or a hundred times more able to take care of others.
You are going to discover for yourself what brings you the most fulfillment. Maybe it’s one passion, maybe it’s different ones. Don’t try to compare yourself with others. You are unique.
Don’t be scared about the future. The future is not here. It is always about how you feel now. Feel good now to create a bright future!
Zing #1: Don’t compare yourself to others
Zing #2: Don’t care about what others think about you.
Zing #3: Pay attention to how you feel
Zing #4: Create a daily ritual to help you stay in tune with yourself
Zing #5: Connect to the people who are going to help you stay on your path to joy
(Zing: a quality that makes something interesting or exciting; enthusiasm or energy – We want to put more zing into our advertising. A bit of lemon juice will add zing to the sauce)
Zing #1: Don’t compare yourself to others.
This is the first key: NO ONE IS LIKE YOU. If you look at all great people around you, in the media or in history, each of them is totally unique. Each of them has followed a different path, had different aspirations, different obstacles, different achievements. It might take you a while to completely stop this comparison compulsion, but once you feel the relief you will experience just from that, you’ll never want to compare yourself to someone again!
You are going to discover your own gifts, and if you already know them you are going to be able to let them shine in their uniqueness. This will be a first step to your success.
Zing #2: Don’t care about what others think about you.
This is the biggie: easier to say than to do. And yes, many times you will have to use diplomatic manners to get your own way, but nevertheless, a lot of self-containment comes from that. Sometimes we don’t even realize it because we have been educated in this system of thoughts. What will dictate your behavior is not what you think others think about you, but HOW you feel about what you want to do. So next time you are confronted to and internal dilemma of should I do this or should I do that, and you suspect that you are withholding yourself because of other people’s opinions, snap your fingers and switch your mind to wondering: “if I do that, how does it make me feel?” The more you do that, the more of what you need to do that is the best for YOU is going to become clearer and clearer.
Zing #3: Pay attention to how you feel.
I started covering that in the couple of sentences right above. And this is really what will do the trick. What will help your life. We have been taught to pay attention to many things that are outside of us and to use a multitude of outside criteria before we make a decision. It is time to reclaim yourself for who you are. You are a divine being. You already know. The task now is to find yourself and with the help of your emotions, you will be able to navigate on the best path for your life. There is a lot to experience on this subject and we can come back to that again. But briefly, you know sometimes you say “I don’t feel it”… well… if you don’t “feel” it… don’t do it!
We have become conditioned to take our decisions from the viewpoints of other people, or from books, or ideas that are not ours. The thing is, because we are unique, what appears to be great for one of our friends who seems to be the same kind of person as us, might not be good at all for us! Again, taking decisions from what authorities, experts, friends, family, schools, books, T.V., etc. say is not the most (if at all) sane way to proceed to create your happy life. You will educate yourself on how to listen to… yourself.
Zing #4: Create a daily ritual to help you stay in tune with yourself.
This is important to stay focused on becoming the best you. The you that you will be proud of and the you that at the end of your life will have no regrets. Create a good daily routine in the morning that will keep your mind and spirit in harmony with what you need to do to achieve that. Different routines can include one or several of the following: meditation, affirmations, yoga, videos, reading, writing, goals, dreams etc.
Especially at the beginning, it is very easy to get “spiritually attacked” by ill-intentioned people and even “well minded” people, and many times it will happen in your own home with your family. You have to “protect” yourself from those attacks while you grow, and the morning routine sets up your day and diminish enormously the chances of you feeling down.
Zing #5: Connect to the people who are going to help you stay on your path to joy.
You may already have a good “entourage” and that’s great. If you are looking for expansion, connect with people who are going to be supportive of you. If nobody around you is like this, connect with some role models who are going to be able to show you how they did it. Let yourself be inspired by them.
The risk here is to copy them: it is very tempting when we admire someone, we have a tendency to want to do what they do… that’s fine… but most of the time it will not work. Again you are unique! So get inspired and use this inspiration to keep yourself in a joyful state of mind so that you can connect with your OWN inspiration.
You will be surprised at how resourceful, creative, genius, incredible being you are! And you’ll find out that you know what you need to do.